Strobe Edge

          it's weird to admit that i don't know how love feels like. i know that sometimes your heart goes 'thump', 'thump' or orang jepun kata 'doki', 'doki'.. but even when it's not about love, your heart can get like that if you're in exciting situations; like while doing sports, doing something 'bad', or when your adrenaline's pumping. so how do you make sure it's one thing, and not the other?
          I've never been 'head over heels' over someone, so I don't know if that's something to be glad or pitied for. it's good because you can never be hurt because you just simply don't care enough, but it's bad because you're missing out on some fundamental emotions in a human's life. I, for one, would really like to know how it would feel to be in love. ice-cream love makes people happy right. I started on this one manga called Strobe Edge recently, and it was so cute how the girl falls so deeply in love with the guy. She goes 'kyuun', gets 'doki', 'doki', blushes, and becomes more feminine.

          It this what they call a 'heart-thumping love story'? Seriously, at first I was kinda irritated because she's kinda a klutz and so naive, but her cuteness grew on me. I think that she's cute. And she doesn't act like a selfish shoujo heroine at all. she's not overly trying to be strong or overly dependent on people. I mean, yes, she's kinda unreliable in a sense that she takes people's words for words and easy to be tricked, but she's not annoying or a drama queen (unlike many other shoujo heroines). I like her because she's honest; she cries when she wants to cry, and laughs when  she wants to laugh. Who else would spontaneously blurt out their confession in public, at the train station, during peak-hours? seriously ^^;; She's simply likable. And I like her. A lot.

Day 27 – What kind of person attracts you?

lelaki mcm ni. boleh x haha. pakcik botak ni sgt kacak =P

Someone tall, dark, and handsome; typical like as described in old english novels haha. well because I especially like those old classic literatures. a friend of mine cik elle once said that i'm jual mahal sangat. but i don't think that i'm choosy or high-taste or demanding.. i fall in like with people here and there every now and then, but then he likes other people, so. it just didn't happen yet..

          i just want to like someone who:

- is taller than me. i'm not that tall anyway..just 166cm. it's not like i'm 175cm or a model or something =| (the average for Malay women is 153.3cm, and for men it's 164.7cm [link]) ok i'm slightly above average, but still.

- is older than me. even if we're of the same age (born in the same year), i want his birthday to be earlier than mine. yeah it's such a petty detail.. but that's just how i feel ^^;;

- knows how to azan. it doesn't have to be beautiful or anything.. i just want him to know and be able to azan when the time comes.

- is not whiter or fairer than me. just because.

- is 'somewhat' matured. i think i can be considered as quite matured, but still, i'm the youngest of my siblings, so sometimes the spoilt me might comes out, so.

right. i don't think this is too much or strict..(or is it?) considering some girls listed some required physical appearance or financial incomes, i'm not that bad right. i don't know how to act all girly and stuffs. plus my physique's bigger than the average girl. they usually relate 'cute' with 'small' right. and my face is..how to say this..it's snobbish? prudish? arrogant? stuck-up? unfriendly? yeah long-story-cut-short, i seem hard to approach and intimidating. even girls think that i'm quite hard to get close to.

note: (hi fish) this is NOT some hints as to whom i had a crush on some time ago. it's just my general ideals. but of course sometimes I had crushes that didn't follow a few of these; like when I started liking someone within the same batch (remember that old one in high school?), I didn't know his birthday yet, so then I found out that it's later than mine, and i'd feel down but by that time i already liked him, so. sobs.

p/s: if you're wondering why I haven't ever confess to any of my crushes, it's just because I hate it when people say that i'm 'perigi mencari timba', 'gedik', etc.

Day 14 - a TV show I'm currently addicted to

It's a crackful Japanese TV Variety Show; Himitsu no Arashi-chan, hosted by ARASHI.

Just take a look at those pictures.. see how awesome this show is yet? LOL
actually I prefer their previous show; Arashi no Shukudai-kun, but that show already ended after more than 200 episodes. it was a good run, but still, when it ended I cried a little ='(

Day 13 – A picture of favorite band or artist

Who else, other than ARASHI, right?? XDvv

(ngelat) more pictures =P

and some bonus:

AWESOME. I KNOW. ;))

Day 11 – A picture of favorite memory

nak mengelat.. I could not choose only one, so:

TA-DAHH.. a collage of my favorite memoriesss (or actually, favorite pictures of some memories haha) =P

Day 9 - Item Last Purchased

Food item doesn't count right? haha obviously if this includes food, my last purchase would be FOOD =p

          So last week we went shopping at Greenhills (actually we went again today, but I didn't find anything that I like, so I bought nothing today). It was only about 10-15 minutes drive. I was running low on my Abercrombie & Fitch's Wakely perfume, so I bought just that. It was last year (? or maybe last 2 year's) birthday present (thanks to Bell, Shafiq Anep, Aliya, dll(??)). I used it a LOT because I've just sort of fallen in love with it. They gave me the 30 mL eau de parfum, but I bought a bigger one; 50mL. It should be USA$50, but the store has 30% off, so I was charged only about USA$38.

          Official product description: Wakely is confident and sexy, yet always leaves something to the imagination. Intriguing and mysterious, jasmine and amber blend together into a warm sensuality. Notes of sweet cream deliver softness unlike anything else while clean citrus refreshes the senses.
          Other source: Get emboldened with Wakely by Abercrombie & Fitch, a confident and saucy fragrance. This amazing Abercrombie & Fitch perfume has sharp and dominant top notes of Jasmine and Amber. With Sweet Cream as its heart note, this fragrance for ladies takes you to the next level gently and softly. This Abercrombie & Fitch perfume ends the symphony of scents with base notes of Clean Citrus, tangy and tantalizing. In a plain black and gray bottle, this fragrance for ladies looks as unassuming as it is intriguing. Play with the senses of smell, as Wakely by Abercrombie & Fitch acts as an aphrodisiac too.
          My thoughts: It mostly smells of amber and sweet cream on me; the jasmine and citrus parts are usually noticeable only when I first sprayed it on. And after a while, when only the base-note should be visible, rather than citrus, it smells more like musk. It's for ladies, but I don't think it's too girly-girly. And it doesn't smell like a bouquet of flowers or sweetness ;))

some reviews. adoii x ckup 'perempuan' ke perfume ni? haha

p/s: kali ni x ngelat rajin2 keke

Day 8 - Dream Wedding

'Akad Nikah' aside;

I want a garden, or beach/sea-side wedding hahahh.

Why? Just. Because.

(aci x bg ni je keke rahsia2)

Day 3 – Perfect First Date

          My idea of a perfect first date? haha I don't even know what's the difference between the first and the other dates. OK, so I'll pretend that for my first date, we somewhat already know each other, so we can skip the awkward introduction and ice-breaking parts =P. (Seriously, I will never understand how people can go on blind dates and so on.. isn't it awkward?)
          First things first: NO holding hands, NO skinships. There are so many ways to be affectionate and romantic, without having to resort to touching skin on skin. As I am quite strict about this issue, it'd be interesting to see how he'd act and treat me knowing that. Compared to holding hands, I think I'd appreciate him taking care of me more. If he thinks that I'm just too reserved and strict about skinship, and thus think that I'm kinda 'hard to get close to', it'd be better for us to just forget about it; a relationship built on respect is more solid and everlasting than one built on lust, after all.
          I don't want to see some movies in cinema. Just because when I go watch a movie, I go to watch it, not to talk to people. Even going with my friends, I usually ignore my friends when they tried talking to me during the show, or I just answered them as quickly, and half-assedly as possible to silence them. So, NO CINEMA (else he'd think i'm just cold and not interested in him). If he really wants to watch a movie, and at the same time talk, just have it at some place not in the cinema.

          I prefer having a laid-back atmosphere, like strolling along the beach, walking through the garden, or just sightseeing the downtown. And if there's some market like the flea or local markets, we'd go see it, and just walk and talk and enjoy the atmosphere. I won't even ask for flowers or presents or whatever, but it'd be really sweet if we found some inexpensive pretty things in the market, and we'd buy each other something. The key point is that it's not expensive, because after all, it's only the first date ^^; (am not a gold-digger). OR just buy ice-cream.. I'd be super happy after that haha. And if he's a daredevil like I am, a theme park or bungee jumping would be really cool lol.
Actually, it'd be interesting to see how i'll be when i'm in love someday. Would I act different? Would I fake weakness and fragility in front of him, or would he already know what kind of person I am? 0_0

#18

(i think) i have a brother complex. of course i'm not talking about incestuous love or anything of the sort; i just know that my brothers are all good men, and that i respect and admire them a lot. once, when one of my brother's going to get married, i dreamed that i punched and kicked his bride-to-be. later, my friend said that based on an analysis of dreams, it meant that i was jealous of my future sister-in-law. it's just that i know she's really lucky to have him.

so if there's this guy who have some characteristics like my brother, and i ended up respecting/admiring him like i do my brother, is that considered like-like? but i swear i see him exactly like my brother. but then if there's this one other guy who (i think) i like because he has all/most of the criteria i like in a guy. does this make me one annoying confused girl with a brother complex, or just plain undecided? is this like-like thing the same as picking up a fitted ZARA suit? you have all these points to look in a blazer, but then you tried something out just by coincidence, and you ended up loving (and buying!) that random one..?
seriously, this like-like business is confusing me.. as expected of an affair-less person ;))

just because i felt like ranting and putting people-in-love down

people fall in and out of love every single day. why think about future, when you can glorify the present? love is blinding people, but certainly not for too long a time. when you fall in love with someone, despite knowing that they have certain traits that you can't stand, will it lasts forever? "love is accepting them for who they really are; accepting them as themselves." what a bunch of pretentious sound-good crap. when your love's not so hot anymore, and suddenly the bubble just cracked, and you see this all bad things about your beloved, would you still love them like before? who can even swear on their lives, that their love is exactly the same as before knowing the truth? sure some people can stand those hated traits, because "love is greater than all", etc, etc. but surely you'd still feel annoyed? those annoyances would someday burst and explode, or you can prevent that by confronting your beloved about it. so now we're back at square #2.. what with that "accepting people for who they are" crap just now?
sorry but i just don't believe in this crap.
on a separate note, why the fuck would you email me 1 day before spring break?? you old fag. I HATE YOU. sometimes i just wanna be reckless and say SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP.

OldCrush: An Inspiring Person ♛

org cte psl bf (hi dayah papatt =P), ko baru sebok dgn crush je. crush lme pulak tu haha gle tertinggal flight ko yah T_T duh. whateverrrr
So. Anyway.
          My first. real. serious. crush♛. happened when I was 16.3 years old. I was in upper forms of high school. couples are everywhere despite the teachers' 'NO!' to couplings lol. At first I didn't have any apple in my eyes (yes, that was intentional), but near the end of the first year, I found him♛.  To be more precise, he found me. I phrased it like that because he's the one who started talking to me first; I didn't even know of his existence, let alone speak to him before that. yeah I've always been like this.. not giving a damn about others except for a few people around me. I'd recognize some familiar faces, but remembering/knowing names might be too hard for me haha
          Then I started to get interested because he dared talk to me despite me giving people the cold attitude. I found out he's always been around some friends of mine, it's just that I totally didn't notice him. Like, he's actually in the same homeroom as my close friend, and he's a roommate of a classmate, or that he's in the same sports house. haha after some stalking (it's not that serious, i just looked around for him, and listened to any mention of him by other people, etc. etc.) I noted that although he's not quite a bishounen, he's kinda cute. He's taller than me (at least =p), got short hair (i can never stand a long-haired-dude), and wore glasses (megane-kun!! hahahh). At that point of time, I was thinking that I might like him, but not more than that; no serious admiration or anything.
          One day, I heard this beautiful azan calling from the musollah. I asked around, and what do you know, it was him alright. His 'admiration points' went up, up. I don't know if I ever loved him, but I definitely loved his voice♛. A few months after that, there was the final exam for that year, and there's an English essay question. sorry I can't remember what the question exactly was. No one knew this (except my girl-friends inside our gang), but I wrote a love story inspired by him. Really, it was easier than a piece of cake. While everybody else is rummaging through their brains thinking hard about some characters and plot and what-nots, I just think about him, and words came out. just like that. I wrote a full paragraph only describing him, and it took me like mere seconds. Then I imagined if he and I were indeed the main characters of a love story, and the story came so naturally.
          I wrote with speed and cheese, and by the end of that 1 hour and 15 minutes, my fingers were sweaty and cold, but my face was hot♛. I don't know if my face was blushing red or not, but I remember feeling with my hands, and it was hot like feverish-hot. And I just had this sense of satisfaction and self-accomplishment. I felt good. =D
          Early the following year, after we got back from the end-of-year holiday, my story got picked by our English teacher as an exemplary essay, and what do you know, each student got a copy of it. way to go, my love letter. thank god i didn't put any names in the story ^^; Then some of the girls in my class said how unfair that I can write that cheesy stuff without trying hard, that she had to really think and plan a story to make it touching, whereas I just wrote heartfelt stuffs like it was nothing. How can I wrote that kinda stuff without even feeling it? yeah, about that not feeling it thing, sorry that I lied and made it seems that way to you. that was a 100% my confession on a paper, and it got photocopied and spread to the whole batch, so of course I had to lie and said it was nothing. I was merely trying to keep my cool, man. I'm proud that my work's set as an example, but it's a bit embarrassing, after all. =P

Dear Encik ♛, Thank You for inspiring one of the better essays I've wrote in my entire life. I guess if you really put your heart into something, people can truly feel it too ♥.

#11

I have a glasses fetish.
Guys who I think is handsome without glasses, but hotter with a pair:

okay, they're handsome the way they are, but.

wearing that pair of glasses just add some extra edge to them

dah a my GenChem lab TA muke mcm chester!! srsly =3

real-life or manga/anime, hot guys are hott XDD

megane bishie!! haha

seriously, i don't even need to google these images up; i got them all stored and saved in my laptop =P I even like to dress myself up with one. (note that these pictures are 4 years old, they were taken during my freshman year, muke freshie habis ah haha)

naah. i'm just messing around, i'm not that yellow =P

being near/far-sighted is quite troublesome; you'd have to wear a pair of glasses and feel all 'restricted' around your eyes, or put on contact lenses, which i know is a hassle. you have to buy them, and that's more money out of your pocket, and you'll have to be careful with the products you put on your eyes because it's such a sensitive area. i'm just glad my eyesight is not that bad, if any. but having a glasses fetish is a whole different thing right.

world is mine

recently i found about the vocaloids; it's an application that uses computer algorithm to synthesize human voice. see how far our robotics technology have come to. and to attract younger generations, they made it into young adults and teen-aged vocaloids. I'm sure there are more, but I've only heard some songs by Ren and Kaito (boy type), and Rin and Miku (girl type).
the boy says

the girl says

then the girl says

then the guy says

just a quickie, he was like a passing breeze [crush pt.4]

1st thing 1st: how the HELL did TWO fire alarms went off in 30 minutes? and it's even morning. like, HELLOO. go to class and stop setting the smoke detectors off!

other than that.
i was writing about the alarm in the activity log, and when i turned around to sit back, i saw him.
mr.B was walking in front of the front desk, with only polymer glass between us. sigh so romantic. (that was sarcasm, btw) he looked kinda amused, but i don't know of what. was it me? lol

Sudden Nice! Coincidence [Crush Pt.3]

          hey heheeeeeeeeeeeee this post i mentioned about this cute guy.. i just met him again. *blushing with uncharacteristic gigglings* lol. you know they said things happen for a reason, and there's no chance if you don't take one? well THANK GOD & LUCKY ME i decided to sub for a co-reeve this afternoon. he (mr.B-my crush) has problems with his dorm's drainage system, flooding like that, and he came to the front desk I'm working at to look for some mops and pail, etc.
          First: I was happy to see him again after like, one semester not bumping onto him whatsoever. i'm an engineering major, and he's not, i think. plus i'm now a senior, and he's what, a sophomore? bcos when i was taking that japanese class with him, i was a junior and he's a freshman. (no i'm not a pedo. sobs.)
          Second: HE'S STILL MORE CUTESTESTESTEST *insert brain shutting down sound here* he cut his hair; not sure when. (like i said it's been a long time since i last saw him.) but his hair's definitely shorter than before. SO CUTE. CUTE. CUUTTTEEEE ♥♥♥
          Third: he remembered me!! *grins* hehe he said "were you in some japanese class before?" i said yeah, like last year. so he said that's why i look familiar lol. and we talked a bit about the japanese class, and if we have taken/or going to take another japanese class, etc. and then about the mop and the pressing matter of flooding. yeah back to business. *sigh* who cares about business ethics and professionalism let's mix pleasure and business i say
          To conclude, I open-handedly, warm-heartedly, welcome all the floodings and lock-outs of his dorm. as long as he's the one coming to the front desk. and only when i was there. haha keji x.
ETA1: ah. i just noticed that that last post about my mr.B was on Friday, too. =D i hereby crown Friday as my fav day *♥hearts♥*

ETA2: small pictures of him.
covered that little kid in the picture bcos it's illegal to post pictures of underage kids without their parents' consent. i'm an upright nerd. what.
the smallest one is of him shirtless working on a rooftop. some skin baring. whoots
totally in stalker-mode. BRB.

crush p2

i couldn't find any decent-sized, or quality of him..
no im not a stalker. i just googled him once. or twice. or __ ok. a few times! 
BUT IM NOT A STALKER. n i just couldn't suddenly add him on fb.. he'd think im weird T_T 
just before our japanese class started, he hummed this song. i didn't recognize what it was, but hey..that's not important.
the main point is how cute he looked when humming it XDD
then, then, his usual partner in class came in, and they talked about something, (im not eavesdropping. everyone in class noticed this exchange and we goodheartedly laughed OK) and then he went "oh rly. hmm. 'maybe', xxx-san?" with that (^up there^) face; he had this one brow up, and a smirk, and he looked like some rly evil kid; which, everyone knows, is a total killer.
there. that's how productive my friday was.

crush p1

why? oh whyyyyyyy......
apsal my menghancurkan slalu sgt bdk lg muda? ok la, klo sme thun lhir pon, bln die lg lmbt..
apsal? knape? porke'?!!
dulu punye yg brthn lme pon lhir bulan bkn 1, 2, 3, 4, mhupon 5. 
haishh. aku pedo kah?
anyway.
just nk ckp my japanese classmates are funny =P
n cute. XDD
tp die bru freshman. oh man. 

2/3 mnggu lps die potong rmbut. lg kiut. 
td skit die pegang pooh. lg comel. 
n nme die pelik. klakar plak. XDD