#26

i've developed this curious habit of sleeping without pants. to the extent of not being able to fall asleep if i'm wearing some. it feels uncomfortable, like my legs are restricted, confined. even if the pants are super-comfy.

Girls & Chocolates

Recently it came to my understanding, why there should always be chocolate stack near us, and more amazingly, why girls act cute and to some extend, dumb. It's unfortunate, but you know it's true. (but it's okay, because the alternative is that they're just really that dumb, and not just acting, which is waaaay more unfortunate)

1. Keep that chocolate stack near!
Chocolate is a great source of sugar, hormone-enhancing somethings, and happiness. Today in the office, I was feeling kinda tired (not unhappy), when suddenly i smelled this melting-delicious-sweet-mother-of-chocolates wafting through the air. (I think it was not just my imagination) so i got the urge and luckily i had a mini mars bar my colleague gave me that morning. Also, when you're working and use a lot of your brain power, your blood sugar level decreases. For example, spot translators always have some chocolate bars on hand, else they'd get dizzy after doing some translating. (watched this on Japanese TV show; Himitsu no Arashi-chan)

2. To get the boys, act cute and dumb!
maybe because i just watched the sitcom Hot in Cleveland marathons last weekend, and the movie The House Bunny last night, that i made this observation. Is it true that boys don't like smart girls (or should i say girls that are smarter than them?) because it made them feel self-conscious and intimidated and loser and dumb and loserrr? Is that why some girls made some real effort to appear dumb? I don't think that I'm dumb. I think I'm pretty smart. A little above average-smart. Not a genius or brilliantly excellently outstandingly smart, but I'm quite satisfied with my smart-ness. So would you say some guys would probably feel intimidated with me?

there's this guy i tend to act cute with. not dumb, just cute. there's tons of opportunities for me to act dumb in front of him, but i didn't. rather, i was quite proactive in the class/session and was probably the favorite trainee among them. so you could say i didn't hold back anything. but that's a different matter from acting cute right. work is work, play is play. Last week i  just randomly got this realization; 'damn i like being cute with him. damn i actually want to be liked. damn i didn't even care/get mad when he mocked my being a last child and calling me spoiled.' you see that's how much i understand girls' behavior now. 5 years ago i asked a guy friend of mine; "why do girls tend to act cute and spoiled with a guy?" and he just looked weird at me, and laughed, "if you don't understand it, then it's not time for you to understand it yet." so now that i understand it, i can proudly say that I've grown up a little, yes? I hope he likes smarty-pants girls, because i know I'm not dumb. plus he doesn't have to feel intimidated of me, because i know he's a pretty darn smart guy.

there's this girl that i just got the vibes that she doesn't like me. maybe it's because I'm new there and she's just like that with not-close people, or it's just towards me. During the lunch chit-chats alone, I heard her said "what... I don't understand that. what do you mean? tell me, tell me..." to this one guy, for like, 5 times. I don't know if she's just that dull or slow or just acting the perfect adorably clueless part. I sure hope she's just acting because she works in the same company with me, for goodness sake. sighs cute or not, I'm just glad that i am somewhat more knowledgeable than her. kalau x, dah la x comel, bodoh pulak tu haha

#25

I (still) have a phobia of (deep) water.
I can swim if I'm wearing a lifejacket.
So maybe that's one of the reason for the phobia.
And it's quite bad to the point that if I submerge my face in water, and open my eyes (looking underwater) I'll see piranhas, sharks, crocs, anacondas, etc opening their jaws and baring their teeth at me.
Once I nearly drowned. I was lounging on a tube in the water at the beach, and I dozed off (yes I know it's silly and dangerous, but hey I was 9-10yo) so I slipped down from the tube face first into the water. At that moment what I saw (in my head) was the hammer shark going for me. So I panicked. And I realized my feet can't touch the bottom. More panic. But luckily my older brother's nearby so he pulled me and brought me to shallower area. Really since then I got really aware/on full alert of water that's taller than me ^^;;

I think this is common only among kids, so i think i should cure this soon. like REALLY SOON. i'm 23 this year after all. *sighs*

bumming... and counting!

I am 22yo, I have a B.E., and I have been to quite a few places, if I may say so myself. So Life's pretty good to me right. Not being ungrateful or greedy, but i think my life's missing something. Perhaps a guy. A passion (read: something to be passionate about, like a hobby, etc) maybe. A f***ing JOB? Definitely.
It's not the work or the working hours i'm looking forward to, but it'd feel right to earn your living and be independent. Because Independence and Freedom is the cure to helplessness.
Right. 6 months into unemployment, (or some would call it post-graduation break) and life's a bore. Oh pls something, just happen already!

P/S: if i have my laptop, it wouldn't be this sucky. My life or this post, you say? My current life, of course. And then i wouldn't have to post this sucky post at all.

#24

Thinking back, I might have been a tsundere. arghhahaha

#23 - clothes

I'm a Muslim Woman. (no, that's not what i'm confessing about today.. you'd probably know that already by now lol) As you may as well know, us Muslims have some very restricted, particular rules and requirements about how we dress. More-so for women. We have to cover a lot of stuffs like our hair, our legs, our chests, etc. so some clothing items are out of the question if we wanna wear them to go out. but of course, i'd still have the desire to try them on. and that is what this post is about: my secret guilty fashion desire ^^;;

for a starter, i'd really like to let my hair free. walking in the breeze, letting them flow in the air.. those cliche' stuffs. (anybody who invented the super-model wind-effect is a genius XDvv)

then i want to put on a cute short dress without having to wear it with some pants. just.the.dress. just.

i want to wear denim hot pants. match them with some cute top or just some t-shirts for a laid-back weekend. I'm not too eager to try on short skirts.. it'd be a hassle to always be on your guard not to flash people your panties lol

Sighs I can't wait to have my own house with some private, closed beach =P haha seronok berangan

#22

eyes don't lie? nope. actually you can train them.
more-so when playing 'bluffs', 'joker', etc.. you know, poker cards games.

#21

I think that the English language is more casual than the mother-tongue.

I see cursing in Malay as badder worse than cursing in English. I casually say 'damn', 'shit', 'what the hell', but it'd take a lot more to make me say 'babi'. And I could even swear that I've never cursed using 'k*m*k', 'p*nt*t', etc. The worst I've used might be 'b*t*h'.. and that's only when I was 14-15 years old (hello raging hormones and rebellious stage ^^;) It's funny how cursing in one language might mean a lot less in another: 'go to hell' = 'pergi neraka', 'pergi mati ah kau' = 'you go die', 'p*nt*t' = 'vajayjay'.. i mean, who curse like "you vajayjay!! *angry face*"..? Maybe because I just see that V term in a medical, scientific way.. but some people might see it as very rude, idk.

Then, what do you think about lovey-dovey, cheesy, jiwang stuffs? Is saying those stuffs in English seems more casual than saying it in your mother-tongue? For me, it is. I can write, say, and listen to those cheesy lines without even blinking if it's in English, but if it's in Malay, I'd feel like "ewwww arghhhh jiwang haramm berbulu telinga" ^^; (that's one explanation why I don't listen to Rock Kapak Melayu =p) People say "I love you", "I miss you", much more frequently than "-insert their direct translations here-" (sorry couldn't even bring myself to type those arghh hahaha)

So that's just how I feel. I know for sure that (most of, usually) the Japanese view this issue the same as me. They rarely say 'aishiteru', instead they say 'suki'.. 'ai' (love) is considered very 'heavy' compared to 'suki' (like).

p/s: oh man.. i was restraining myself from cursing too much in Langkawi, but then when I got here, cursing seems so.. casual. damn it. arghh i should (at least try to) stop cursing before going back to Malaysia. urghh else they'd think I've gone bad.. T_T

#20

I mentioned how I couldn't pronounce the letter 'R' properly before, but now I can right.
The thing is, if I'm reading or saying it just in my head without vocalizing it out (baca dalam hati), I still can't say it properly. I have no idea why it's like that even though I can decently say it out loud. I've tried many times, but it still sounds 'agh' instead of 'arr' in my head. This worries me ='|

on another note; I just remembered why I suddenly took the 'R' matter real seriously. Of course I knew it was bad and I should correct it since I was little.. One of the first 'R' incident that I remember and hate is when I was in the 3rd Grade (9 years old), the teacher asked if anybody has nephews or nieces, and I said that I have, and his name was "Arif", and she couldn't tell what I was trying to say. (she heard "abiff", "avef", wth) Gaahh that was so rude, teach DX (but then I was too tough for elementary school kids to pick on, so only the teacher had the guts to point on me like that. after class, nobody even talked about it again lol)

Then, in Form 3, my Malay Language teacher asked me to read something, and there's some parts that had a lot or R's in it, so it became quite obvious that I couldn't say it, and one of the girls pointed it out. (damn maybe i was being too soft on her. tch.) I figured that either I could shut her up, or eliminate my flaw. And being a growing-up teen who only has a few more months in that school, I just let her off and concentrated on pronouncing R correctly for a new school the next year. I know I was too rough for a girl, and thought that I should 'soften down' before I hit 'maturity' XP (and that is why I was not so rough, and did somewhat less cursing in Langkawi)

#19

I'm stubborn. hard-headed. but not hot-headed. even from when i was little, i was really stubborn. orang melayu kata degil betul. keras kepala.

but i hate getting scolded or yelled at. even when they say it in a slow, non-aggressive way, i'd really hate it. that's when the bongsu-syndrome kicks in. i'm really sensitive at being lectured at. i hate it because i don't have any immunization against it. i'd felt like crying so easily if i know i was at fault and then they keep lecturing and reminding me of my fault. but usually i don't cry, as long as i can hold it in. TEARS ARE FOR THE WEAK lol. BUT. only people who i care about, or i respect could induce those *sorry i know i was at fault* feelings. if you're somebody i don't give a shit shoot damn thing about, i'd just brush you off like i'd do with a house fly. so. if i'm acting somewhat spoiled or not-cool (cold?) in front of you, just *I'm sorry. I couldn't help it* I'll try putting on a more stoic, professional front, but.

#18

(i think) i have a brother complex. of course i'm not talking about incestuous love or anything of the sort; i just know that my brothers are all good men, and that i respect and admire them a lot. once, when one of my brother's going to get married, i dreamed that i punched and kicked his bride-to-be. later, my friend said that based on an analysis of dreams, it meant that i was jealous of my future sister-in-law. it's just that i know she's really lucky to have him.

so if there's this guy who have some characteristics like my brother, and i ended up respecting/admiring him like i do my brother, is that considered like-like? but i swear i see him exactly like my brother. but then if there's this one other guy who (i think) i like because he has all/most of the criteria i like in a guy. does this make me one annoying confused girl with a brother complex, or just plain undecided? is this like-like thing the same as picking up a fitted ZARA suit? you have all these points to look in a blazer, but then you tried something out just by coincidence, and you ended up loving (and buying!) that random one..?
seriously, this like-like business is confusing me.. as expected of an affair-less person ;))

#17

          I can be manipulative sometimes. It's not that I'm a scheming bitch.. (i'm NOT, right? =?) it's just that I'm a resourceful person. I'll get what I want. In a way, I'm spoiled like that =P. Seriously, if I don't pursue on this engineering path, I'll probably get into psychology. Human minds are such wonders =))

#16

I think I'm psychic. not psycho, psychic.

My instinct's pretty good, too. You ever stuck on a multiple choice question, having no idea which one's the answer? My likeliness to get the answer right is more than 70%. Awesome, right. I know.

#15

I'm a sucker for brotherhood/male-bonding. like in heroic stories or shounens or whatever that has this touching bro-moments, i'll definitely get touched.. sometimes i even cried lolol

dont know why.. i guess it's just something enviable and I can definitely appreciate a strong bond between people.

#14

I'm rebellious.

If you say A, I'll do my damnedest to make it not A.

Example: maman said "an 'infatuation' is 'liking' something / someone for a period of time, usually not 'love', and lasts for only about 18 months".

So I made sure I liked that infatuation for more than 18 months.

Also, I cannot, and will not ignore a dare.

My big ego won't let me.

#12

I'm a narcissist♛ I care more about me than the rest of the world. So when I say I don't do gossips, it's not that I don't love hearing gossips, it's just that I don't particularly put more interest on other people's lives than my own. Logics: less time for others --> more time for myself!! Self-centric and egoistic is the way of the gheiis.. remember that well, my young padawans =))

#13

     I am quite the vengeful type. no matter in non-personal matters, relationships, or friendship, once i feel wronged, i'd pay back in ten-folds. misusing my quite good memory, i can still remember who did what to me from around 10 years ago.
     for example, my parents never once slapped or hit my face, so i really am sensitive about that, and even when sparring, i don't hit people's face. that's me being respectful towards others. so really some people just dont know to treat others equally or respect them. i even have a list of people who had hit my face, and unless they specifically said to me "sorry for hitting your face, hit me back" i wont forgive them.
     i rarely feel jealous even if i kinda "like" a guy. even if he found a girl and date her, i'd be like 'okayy' and that'll be the end of it. maybe it's because (ju said this) i just like to look at him, not more than that, or maybe i just don't like him enough to get jealous, i just don't. well i dont get mad, i get even.
p/s: 'head' is different than 'face'. i don't mind being hit on the head, just not the face. a hit on the head is like a pat. "yosh, yosh, good boy" like that =p
p/p/s: i'm not your spare-tyre, and two can play the game, bitch.

#11

I have a glasses fetish.
Guys who I think is handsome without glasses, but hotter with a pair:

okay, they're handsome the way they are, but.

wearing that pair of glasses just add some extra edge to them

dah a my GenChem lab TA muke mcm chester!! srsly =3

real-life or manga/anime, hot guys are hott XDD

megane bishie!! haha

seriously, i don't even need to google these images up; i got them all stored and saved in my laptop =P I even like to dress myself up with one. (note that these pictures are 4 years old, they were taken during my freshman year, muke freshie habis ah haha)

naah. i'm just messing around, i'm not that yellow =P

being near/far-sighted is quite troublesome; you'd have to wear a pair of glasses and feel all 'restricted' around your eyes, or put on contact lenses, which i know is a hassle. you have to buy them, and that's more money out of your pocket, and you'll have to be careful with the products you put on your eyes because it's such a sensitive area. i'm just glad my eyesight is not that bad, if any. but having a glasses fetish is a whole different thing right.

#10

i think that i'm lucky. i feel lucky. and i know i've been lucky before.
also, i like my life; myself, my family, my friends, my time setting, ...everything. every once in a while i'll see other people's lives, and get jealous, but not to the point that i'd trade them with mine. because i know my life, although not that easy as it seems to be, is nothing if compared to other misfortunate people's harsh world.
and so i am grateful for my life. Hidayah milik

Mak, Selamat Hari Lahir yang ke-
wait. calculating. 2011-1944=?

Mak, Selamat Hari Lahir yang ke-67! Semoga sentiasa dicucuri rahmat-Nya dan dipanjangkan usia. Amin.

#9

I do pms and extreme mood swings. like really do.
maybe because i'm an infamous gemini. or because i like swings. or that i have Johor blood...
whatevs, i do 'em mood-swings. and i do 'em bad.