Drama Moral Singapore

"ayah & mak dah la x skolah tinggi2, dapat anak bebal pulak! kenapa eh ko ni lembab sangat, benda senang macam ni pon x dapat jawab betul? asyik main bola je kan, hari-hari main bola jadi bodoh macam ni"

dear parents, ini contoh parenting yang salah. (although i'm not a parent yet, but.)

tema episode: menaruh harapan terlalu tinggi kat anak, pressure berlebihan, x bagi sokongan moral, etc.
karakter: kanak-kanak sekolah rendah

dah la time tutor budak tu nak balik, dia pesan kat si ibu:
tutor: "nanti makcik duduk la dengan dia, ajar pelan-pelan, lama-lama nanti dia dapat lah tu"
ibu: "alah, makcik kalau teman dia pon bukan bukan tau sangat pun.."
tutor: "xpe makcik, duduk temankan dia pun dah cukup bagi semangat & sokongan moral"

lepas tutor tu blah je, si ibu pun terus je mencaci anak macam quote atas tu. padahal dia pun x tau. dafuq? bukan lah nak cakap parents kena jadi perfect, tau semua benda bagai. tapi jangan salahkan anak kalau mak bapak tak cuba sehabis sendiri untuk tolong anak. setakat marah-marah tengking-tengking, hantar anak pergi kelas tambahan x cukup. it's called hands-on approach, not a fucking money-on. be involved and active in your kid's education/upbringing. bukan setakat tau bunyi mulut je. apa yang keluar dari mulut ibu tu suatu doa, cakap lah elok sikit. tapi honestly, after aku dengar je dialog atas tu, my reaction was:



haha betul la, mana tumpahnya kuah kalau tak ke nasi? belajar kat social science course: 9 out of 10 children never made it out of their parent's financial income group. meaning kalau parents considered as 'poor', 9 out 10 children will be 'poor' when they grow up. if your parents are 'average', 9 out of 10 children will be 'average'. bukan nak cakap kalau parents ko x sekolah tinggi-tinggi, ko pon akan sure x sekolah tinggi. ada je yang macam tu, this is just statistics. tapi kena la tau limit dan special skill anak masing-masing. macam ayat atas tu, kalau anak ko pandai main bola, try la galakkan dia pursue jadi pro fotball player ke. rezeki orang masing-masing. omputeh cakap to each, his own. kalau asyik bagi pressure je, budak tu dah la kecik lagi, kamonnnn

Free Hotel & orang muka ketat

I LOVE getting free hotel stays..
I think I've gotten 3 paid stays up to now; the first was for the PMR, second for SPM, and this time for work. I see it as a treat. Because well not everyday you'd get a free room right. And usually if it's the hotel I book myself, it won't be this fancy-fancy lol. But most importantly my parents got to experience it too ;)

The first time, I was 15 years old in KL. It was for being top 25 students in PMR, national level, so it was paid by the LPM. I think it was 26 or 27 November 2004. Around the time that tsunami hit Kedah/Penang. It was also the first time I stayed in hotel without anyone more experienced in the drill (i.e. older brother or sister that usually takes care of the check-in/out procedures, lead the way to breakfast/ meals, etc.) so I was kinda 'lost' haha. but heck it was still a pretty sweet time. I remembered my mom trying to order coffee because the only ready-made drinks are juice, but the waiter couldn't understand her. She said "mintak air kopi panas", then he was not sure if he understood correctly, so he asked back, "coffee?" and kinda looked at me to confirm it. Heck I was 15, not so confident in my spoken english yet, so I thought I made it clear just by nodding back at him, but then my mom added, "ha yang panas ye" and my dad was all "coffee, one coffee". So the waiter went to get it and when he returned to us, all he brought was a cup of warm water! lolllllll sigh

[Summary: November 2004, 15yo with parents, exp 0%, badass 30% -still cuak nak call room service, tapi still mintak jugak for iron board & coffee/tea/sugar/etc.]

The second time, it was under MARA, for an event at PWTC celebrating MRSM students who get straight A1's. it must've been some time in March or April 2007, forgot the date. This time was even merrier than the first since more people I know are staying in the same hotel. We chatted until late at night before going up to bed haha. During the event at PWTC, we were sorted by school and number of subjects taken (in this case, number of A1's lol). MRSM Langkawi that year only has one 12-A1's; Nabil, one 11-A1's; me, and many 10 and 9-A1's. So I was seated alone, separate from the others. sobs. It was so boring having no well-acquainted friends/classmates to fool around with. and around me were a lot of students from same MRSM, like Jasin, etc, so they knew each other. I was so irked when the guys from Jasin were obnoxiously cheering "TGB! TGB!!" when it was a Jasin student's turn on the stage.. So albeit sitting alone there in the middle of other teams (I was quite the 'away' team there lol) I just selfishly loudly clearly cheered and clapped for all of the Langkawi students haha. The few guys sitting next to me kept glancing and then after a few lone cheer, he joined me clapping for them lol.

[Summary: April 2007, almost 18yo with parents, exp 30%, badass 60% -same macam 1st time, just this time dah x cuak sangat. cakap inggeris pun dah lagi konfiden haha]

bougainvillaea balcony overlooking the pool. let's see if i'd be rajin enough to hang out down there or go to the gym haha

This time, it was on the company for relocation/moving assistance before i start work here in Senai. First time having a hotel room all to myself though. (ok, that's a lie. I stayed on my own at a hotel in Paris, but that was a cheap hotel. so no pressure there haha) Staying in a fancy hotel on my own like this is definitely a first for me, somehow it makes me really feel like a career woman ;)) hopefully this'll be the first out of many..aminn. But i noticed when i checked in yesterday, and they were checking my reservations, payment details, etc. the guy processing my details said "ok, reservation for __(full name)__, from XX to XX April, paid by __(company)__, breakfast for one? please hold on, I'll get your keys" then while waiting,some the other staffs were looking at me, like who/what is she? seriously, i don't know either to be flattered or what.

[Summary: April 2012, almost 23yo, alone, exp 90%, badass 90% -ok, ni kalau lepas dok obersea 4 tahun pon x reti cakap omputeh lagi x tau la (not saying you need to go there to speak English well, just saying in my case i definitely improved after living in US) just me. ehh *shrug*]

seriously, mak mesti macam "ko telepon sape tu yah? nak ape lagi?" everytime i call the room service/front desk. macam x nak menyusahkan dorang. tapi dah kita bayar (well, in these cases orang bayarkan hehe), and it's their job, so i was like "xde ape, just nak gula/iron/internet/etc. je" kan, bukan selalu dapat layanan macam ni hehe biorle rasa pampered sikit.. ;P

and it's true what old people said; "jauh perjalanan, luas pemandangan" i think travelling with peers/younger friends, experiencing things in life definitely makes you more confident with yourself. you learn new stuffs, so when you're thrown le wild one, you'd be less flabbergasted. it's not to be arrogant/ showy/ condescending, but just to make you fit in your own skin. because not everyone's decent in this world. next time you encounter muka ketat bitches, just remember: BITCH, I'M FABULOUS! smile, and walk away ;)

FAQ#7

It's not my fault that I was raised with so much doting and overprotecting and caring love from my family. I had a protected childhood:

My skin was (sometime is) over sensitive. I couldn't even touch laundry detergent. If my skin had contact with it, it will become hot and red and then it started to peel off, and wrinkles appear. So every weekend, instead of me washing my own school shoes, mak would do it for me, up until I was 10-11 years old. Then my sister complained that mak was spoiling me too much and forced me to do it myself. Hey is it my fault that I'm allergic to detergent? Other than that, I also couldn't peel and clean tuberous plants like potato, tapioca, and their leaves. Else I'd get the same reaction like with the detergent.

When it was festive times and we'd play fireworks and firecrackers, and sometimes when my brother got a long holiday, his friends would come over to play and they'd make a meriam tanah (earth canon? lol)  in front of my house because our house is on top of a hill. So then they'd let me play it too, but when I lit the fuse, my brother would help me cover my ears for me =P (like when you're firing a gun).

resepi meriam http://azrilshrimp.blogspot.com/2010/07/life-2.html 

With a lot of adults around me, so does the amount of 'adult supervision'. Some movies and stuffs on TV were already checked and filtered by the Lembaga Penapis, but when I watch TV or movies with my brothers and sisters, it got filtered again: they wouldn't let me see even a kissing scene, so the other bases are of course out of the question. They'd say "you're still just a brat, you're not old enough to see this kinda stuffs", and sometimes even covered my eyes for me. But strangely enough, they encouraged me to not close my eyes when watching a horror movie. If someone scream or cry or close their eyes, he/she would be laughed at. So yeah, even now, I still feel 'awkward' watching those touching, romantic moments, but I don't have any problems with suspenseful scenes ^^;
right. I didn't even know who mar1a 0zawa is up till 2 years ago. even then I found out because one of my girl friend mentioned her name and I asked her, but she wouldn't tell me so later I googled her up and my browser's clean history is history. T_T

FAQ#6

          My Mak's a Chinese-born. She was born in a Chinese family, but it was a hard and harsh time for everyone, so they thought that another baby girl just doesn't help with the situation. On another side of the town, my grandmother, who's a Malay, couldn't have any child, so they decided to adopt. And so Mak was brought into the Malay family, being grandma's and granddad's first daughter.. =))
          Mak was brought up as a true Muslim and Malay; she doesn't know how to speak Chinese at all, but she's fluent in Malay and Jawa. =P One thing that still binds her to her Chinese origin, might be just genetics and looks. Some of our siblings really look somewhat Chinese-ish, and people can easily recognize us; they said we just had that similar looks to each other.. was it the sepet eyes? lol.
          And maybe there's just one other thing besides our genetics and looks: a few Chinese from our town acknowledge that we're relatives, and said that Mak's their sibling, and so they give us some more discounts in their stores ^^;;

just.because.

p/s: we should've practice both Raya and Chinese Ney Year.. then I'd get both Duit Raya and Ang Pao. my annual income could double!! XDvv

FAQ#5

The parenting style.

          How's your dad's parenting? is he the hard one between your parents, or is he the soft one? you know the typical Malay dad with a mustache, a strict face, and a cane in his hands? yeah my dad was like that when he was young. my older siblings'd know how hard it was at that time. but then as he's getting older, and by the time I was born, he's cooled down a LOT and thus I'm considered 'lucky' and spoiled. I've never been beaten or hit or caned. the closest one I've experienced was when my sister CikNa and I were playing in the shower, and it was near dusk, then we quarreled and made some ruckus. as it was such a bad time to be making noises like that, my dad lost his temper and took out his belt. he intended to whip both of us but somehow only CikNa got a few of the strikes. I was only a few years old (maybe 5 or 6) so I don't remember it too clearly (maybe my head purposefully block the memory or something, idk haha), but somehow I escaped that scene safe and sound.
          My mom's the soft one. She'd speak softly, and she's closest to us. most of us (when still payless/ students) asked allowance from my mom. we rarely have the guts to ask from my dad. i guess only CikNa has asked for some money from my dad lol. You know how people says that a perfect couple is one who completes each other? my dad's the type that remembers people's names, but harder to know their faces, and my mom's the opposite of that; she'd know faces better than their names. If my dad's hot-blooded, my mom's a cool-type. she'd rarely get angry, and even when she'd reprimanding us, her words are still soft yet you know you're being reprimanded. (she's great, right =p)
          OK. so now you're thinking that I'm such a spoiled kid right. but then again, having a LOT of older siblings mean that I have a LOT of parent-ly figures above me, too. I have to listen to a LOT of people. sure, my parents never hit me, but that doesn't mean i've never been pinched or scolded or yelled at. Especially with one of my sister, she has this habit of pinching people, and when we were little and naughty, she'd pinched us really hard and when we cried, she'd keep pinching harder, and said "go on, cry. cryyyyyyy", and won't let go until we stopped crying. see, she's evil right. (haha but i guess from her point of view we're the evil ones.. being too hyperactive and not behaving properly, making a mess, running wild around the house, until another sister of mine cried because she couldn't stand us being that hyper lol)

FAQ#4

          a family always have their own secrets and principles. like our family have this some sort of silent agreement and promise never to 'steal' another woman's husband. it's taboo for us.. knowing how much it will hurt the first wife, seeing it up close with our own eyes, experiencing the situation ourselves. so this thought of never hurting another woman (in this emotional aspect) was etched deep inside my brain.

          sometimes it's for you to fight for what you want, and sometimes it's for you to pull back and stand down. the line between them is blurred, and i found myself usually just running away from any dramas. why? because i just hate the hassle and and the buzz and the tears and the backstabbing and the everything.
          the funny thing is that i've experienced some kinda half-cooked drama during my freshmen year. i was kinda 'hyper' at that time.. being in a new place and new environment. so i was high-spirited and excited. and what do i do when i'm excited? i seem friendlier and easier to approach than the usual everyday-me. i was being friendly (joking around and teasing, etc.) with a guy, and at that time i didn't know he was in some kinda 'affair/ scandal/ rumored budding relationship' with a girl. the girl was so cute.. before, she was totally fine and cool with me, but after my being friendly with the guy, she was like being a little hostile and so-not-cool with me anymore lol. what's funny is that she actually cared about me. i mean come on. it's ME. did she actually feel insecure because of me? that's the funniest part. i wasn't even flirting, for goodness sake. so because i just hate this kinda dramas (actually, i hate all types of it), i just stopped messing with him, and what do you know, about a year after that she's cool with me again. ^^;; girls are cute right lolol

FAQ#3

          I have a lot of siblings (there's 14 of us!!). So we don't have nicknames according to our order of birth, like the first one is "Along", the second one's "Angah", and the last one's "Adik/Usu", etc. Imagine if we do indeed call each other like that.. "yo number 4!!", "hi, I'm number 13 =))" lolol ^^; Once, when I was about 10-11 years old, I asked #7 while we were picking the ciku fruits from the tree; "why don't we have nicknames by our order of birth like other families?" *insert innocent face here*, and he went quiet for a while because I was being too random. Then he said "no, but we have other nicknames like 'Gepeng', 'Mendit', etc." and laughed it off. Those are jawa-language nicknames.. 'gepeng' means flat; my oldest brother got that nickname because his face is kinda flat when he was a kid. And 'mendit' is my sis's.. because she's too spoiled XDD
sigh what's better to show our affections than by calling each other (funny, mean) names right ^^;

FAQ#2

          People says "don't mock others", right. Who knows if that thing we mocked about, could happen to us, or our children. My dad was a teacher (he's retired now), so he's kinda strict when teaching how to read Al-Quran.. he often scold people who couldn't pronounce a certain letter correctly. For example, the Arabic letter 'ra' and 'gha'. So once (or perhaps many times behind his back), his pupils say 'you just see.. you'd know how hard it is if your own kids have that difficulty too'.

          So it happens. My dad's kids (us!) got it. But the weird thing is not all of us have it: only most of the male siblings (my brothers), and I got it. (haha yeah I was the only girl sibling who got it. what luck T_T) I had it bad until I was 15 years old. Then because I was so sick of getting picked and teased on this pesky, petty thing, I started brushing my tongue everytime I brush my teeth, and soon when I transferred to a new school the next year, I just got better.. People could hardly tell I couldn't say the letter 'R' before.
Things just happen the way it did, so I'm just glad I got better =)) ..as i myself have had this hardship before, that gives me the right to brag about it, and mock others who cannot say 'R' correctly, right? XDD

FAQ#1

hellooo =))

The FAQ above means Family's Answers&Questions, not some random Frequently Asked Questions.. yeah sorry i just love puns ^^;

so let's start this!

My side of the family calls my dad "abah".

The step-family calls him "ayah".

Even among the siblings including the step-sisters, I am the youngest.

But I refer to myself as just "Yah", or "saya".

The youngest step-sister, who's born in the same year as my older sister immediately above me, calls herself "adik".

the detached attachment

          Last summer, on a beautiful sunny day where breeze blew and birds chirped, I picked up a tiny bundle of joy. Six months passed, and he grew up handsomely (and big!). Raising him, of course I love him, but something other than that grew too; attachment. He likes to be near and cuddle with me, even when I was sleeping, studying, trying to go out, everything. Maybe he saw me as a replacement mother, for he was separated from his true mother at a very young age. I even fed him milk with bottle and nipple. Imagine taking care of him for 6 months, watching over him every single day, and being with him every single time, you can't help but getting attached. Even if you're thrown into living with a crocodile for a long, long time, you'd get attached and used to having it near you; you'll adapt to live with it. Now try imagining living with a cute, cuddly furrball. Wouldn't you'll get very attached to him?
          My sister said this: 'even with our many nephews and nieces, you'll feel differently about the ones you helped take care of.' Of course we love them all, but there's just this other-worldly feelings that you just can't compare to; special to the ones you brought up with your own hands. There's a mix of pride, joy, care, love, and many other happy, strong emotions.

Having him for so long, and then losing him, I certainly would need getting use to this new life without him. Goodbye my beloved, and even with my temperamental natures, know that you're loved.

#10

i think that i'm lucky. i feel lucky. and i know i've been lucky before.
also, i like my life; myself, my family, my friends, my time setting, ...everything. every once in a while i'll see other people's lives, and get jealous, but not to the point that i'd trade them with mine. because i know my life, although not that easy as it seems to be, is nothing if compared to other misfortunate people's harsh world.
and so i am grateful for my life. Hidayah milik

Mak, Selamat Hari Lahir yang ke-
wait. calculating. 2011-1944=?

Mak, Selamat Hari Lahir yang ke-67! Semoga sentiasa dicucuri rahmat-Nya dan dipanjangkan usia. Amin.

TEN.TEN.FIVE

forewords: tagged->write 25 things about yourself->tag other 25 people including who tagged you.

1. i was tagged to do this whole damn thing by WAWA

2. i'm a girl (though i used to want to be a boy -but i'm over it now)

3. i'm a gemini

4. i was born in the year of snake

5. i like the number 2x4=8

6. i think i'm a pretty faithful kinda girl. i've liked this one guy for more than 4 years now. of course once in a while i'll like some other guy, but he's the steady one. the rest are just like plaything entertainment when i'm bored. but with him, every time i see him i'd remember why i like him and so i keep liking him.

7. i'm an honest person except when being honest disadvantages me

8. i'm a good liar. if it's not wrong i'll put "scam for money" as my aspiration. but because it's wrong, i'll just stop at lying.

9. i have a cat that i named "Timon", after Malay's word for cucumber. but when people asked, i said that it was after Timon & Pumba from The Lion King.

10. i'm not plastic

11. but i'm vain

12. but i'm self-conceited so instead i said i just love myself

13. but i'm an egoist so i won't say that out loud

14. i'm a sadistic sadist. and that i won't deny.

15. i crave adrenaline rush. bungee jumping, sky diving, thrill rides, haunted house -bring it on.

16. i like traveling and vacations.

17. i love money more than you do.

18. i love cute things, like my nephews and nieces. and sometimes my friends.

19. i love meaningful things, like Linkin Park's song lyics.

20. i'd love to sing and dance.

21. but i'm tone deaf and rhythmically uncoordinated.

22. i love watching crackful variety shows more than dramas or music programs.

23. i don't need a man, but i'd want one.

24. i'm a feminist. i don't have anything against feminism.

25. i can bitch.

AND YOU CAN DO NOTHING ABOUT IT

taggees: WAWA, cikna, keena, maman, qila, k.fadd, flint, dayah papatt, spe lg tah ade blog.

anyway. bonus clip 

TEN.TEN.ONE..

TEN.TEN.TWO..

TEN.TEN.THREE..

TEN.TEN.FOUR..

TEN.TEN.FIVE...

OldDiary [part1] giving and receiving

i used to have a diary back in elementary school. i started it around 5th-6th grade i think. it's not any fancy moleskin hardcover notebook; it's just one of the "science" long notebook used for school-work. plus, it's not so much of a everyday-diary. it's more to a place where i wrote about stuff that happened, stuff i'm happy about, stuff i'm NOT happy about, or just some stuff i wanted to remember or thought i'd like to reminisce about one day. anyway, i don't have it right here and now, but i still remember some of the old stuff i put into it.

damnit ape susah sgt nk search image notebook ni. type in notebook kluar gmbr laptop, search buku nota kluar gmbr bdk skolah. google buku nota panjang hambik ko gmbr ricky martin plak. the #%@* urghh whatever

one of the nonchalant, 'boring' entry is about my 12th birthday -my family had satay for dinner for the celebration. it's not much of a party actually; we just ate them as dinner and that's it. i think i got a few presents that year or the year before.. it was an oblong-shaped glass paperweight that have this blue gel inside (like sea water) and sand (like an island) and small plastic palm trees and a couple of surfers on surfboards. the other present was a teddy bear shaped piggy-bank i think. i'm not like my sister cikna; well she's kinda friendlier than me and more outspoken and so she knows how to ask for things from our big brothers/sisters, parents, etc. in my opinion she's more spoiled than me in that area. plus, i'm REALLY BAD at receiving presents. you know, how'd you happily say thanks or express your gratitude? it's so troublesome to have this monotonous voice and expressionless face. y'know, is there any mood-sticker like the mood-ring that you can stick up your forehead and tell people when you're happy or sad or what fucking ever? if you ever found one, give me a head up. i'll freakin' BUY IT.

THIS