is there even a 'forever', an infinite amount of time, an unlimited quantity of happiness? when you go see a movie, and it ends with its ending, you have some sort of a 'closure', you know, and have the feeling that it's indeed finished. but with real life, it's a freakin' continuous, everyday process. sure you have your expiry date (hello death), but life's not a given thing. everyday is different. how you talk and act with people is different from day to day. it's not like in games, where you can level up with socializing, and then if you keep in touch with them, your level will stay at that fixed level. maybe it's just me, but i'm a bit unstable like this; if yesterday i was super friendly with someone, it doesn't mean i'd still be like that tomorrow. more-so if usually i don't talk with that person, but because of some situations, we ended up talking.. then how do i act in front of them the next time we meet? do i be the usual stoic me, or the rarely friendly one?
i trust and hold on to my instincts and first impressions. a lot of people that left bad impressions on me, usually won't end up close friends with me. but some of them does get along better after some time. usually even after having those 'bad impressions' on someone, i'll keep quiet about it because maybe it was just me being my obnoxious and selfish self. but then i started hearing people saying stuffs about them too, so it's not just me right. (RIGHT, I'M PSYCHIC =D)
compared to being 'in the circle', i used to prefer taking a step back, standing there and watch them from a distance. sometimes you need to be at a distance to see the bigger picture. sometimes you have to be an outsider to see things. sometimes you should be a stranger.
i like being a watchmen.