Being Confirmed & Feedbacks

signed my confirmation letter/agreement today. after my first formal/pre-arranged one-to-one. well i think we've talked quite a lot since i started working there, just that they weren't formal/pre-arranged. my boss told me the day before, so i was quite nervous/restless about it the whole evening. so this morning i went around asking some people what they usually talked about during the one-to-one, then i even prepared a list of what i've accomplished, etc. hehe (like a cheat sheet for an exam) =P

well the first feedback he gave me is that he's okay with me, and has no problems with confirming me. then he said he got a few positive feedbacks from other people also. he's happy with my progress, etc. one aspect he asked me to improve/study on is supervisory skills. and he kept going that i do have the authority over the people under me, so i need to show it more, even though that they are older than me. so i explained that the girl one warmed up to me almost instantly, but not the boy one. i think it took me about 2 months to get along with him/he being okay with working with me. and right now i told my boss that both of them have started to ask for my opinion/decision/help more. and that's a good thing; since it shows that they have some trust in me.

then my boss suddenly mention how it's like working with older people, sometimes they're quite sensitive/easy to get hurt/terasa, and advised me to just be careful. in my head i kept going round and round thinking if i've ever do anything like that, search results dubiously return 0 item, so i asked him back; "is there any specific feedback on that?" haha i was not being stubborn you know, just wanted to know what i've possibly done for my boss to mention this. but he answered that no, he didn't receive any specific feedback on it, but just as a precaution. i was worried because i think i'm quite respectful towards older people, so when he suddenly brought this topic up, my alarm just went off.

also, i said to him about our AE, that i'd prefer having him under my boss still, not directly under me. he asked why, and i think he suspected that it's because of the issues we talked about before, that i'm not comfortable with having a very senior colleague reporting to me. i really don't mind if the AE doesn't mind, but from what i see, i think he won't be comfortable with that arrangement. but of course i gave other, less-feeling-based reasons; that since my boss is the lab owner, the AE should be directly under him (AE works like the lab admin/supervisor) also i'm responsible for cyclone only, but the AE helps with both cyclone and filter, so i said that it's not fair if he's under me only. it's contrary to my answer when my boss asked me the same question before; "are you okay with having someone senior like the AE reporting under you?" at that time i'm still not familiar/well-acquainted with everyone at the lab yet, so i just said yes, no problem.. haha that was before.

then the last-ish topic we talked about is that i rarely come to see my boss on my own accord. he said "i don't know why, you're malu or what, it's like you have this barrier, so i'm asking you not to do that". sighhhssss ini kali ke berapa orang cakap aku malu? it's not like that. sometimes i like having a clear-cut relationship with the boundary set. like since he's my boss, i was trying to keep a professional front and not be silly in front of him, so maybe he saw that as being distant. or maybe he compared how i am with my female seniors/the akak sitting next to him. well since she and i do not work directly together, i was more open with her and can joke around more freely. also, aku memang kurang bersosial dengan lelaki pun, sebab kang nanti orang cakap menggedik pulak sudeehhh. rosak reputasi beta haha. ok la, maybe sebab ade sedikit malu? [-___-]

then he said i want you to be able to come up to me and give me updates on what you're working on. and he said that we lack communication, didn't talk very much. so when he asked my opinion, i was a bit confused because in my opinion we talked quite a lot already. and when i told my friends about how he kept asking me if i'm okay with workload, environment, etc. my friends said that i'm lucky to have a boss like that. (but of course i didn't tell him that, ;)) i just said that compared to my friends' bosses, i think that we talked quite a lot. he was like "really??" haha yupp. of course, the frequency that we talked have decrease compared to when i started. i thought that it was only natural, since back then i was new(er) and had a lot more to learn/ask him. but now it'll be quite annoying if i keep bugging him right? i was trying to show him that i can be less dependent now. so then i just promised him that if i have a problem i'll tell him. he said it's just that he doesn't want me to feel neglected, etc. trust me, i'm not. i'm just a *forever alone* hahahaha

then we talked about more laid-back stuffs; like what's my plan about getting the car, talked about my sister (he remembered about her! he asked, "the one that just got married?" lol) what i don't like about working there, etc. lol we even talked about where did i actually apply for this job. ah, and about my plan for next weekend hehe. he was like, "your friend's getting married during ramadhan? who would come to the event?" haha of course the wedding's not now. we're just meeting up with some friends before she's getting married. x kan la nak cakap kat boss, "we're throwing her a bachelorette partayyyyyyy!!! woohoooo!!!!!"

patutkah? conclusions, things i need to improve on are:
1. go to managing people training
2. don't feel unwelcomed to update him
3. watch my actions around old people

p/s: tadi dalam surau ade budak ni tengah survey2 pasal rumah sewa, so aku cakap la Cutie tengah cari housemates. pastu laju je die jawab, "tak nak." lol memang ramaikah yang kurang gemar terhadap Cutie? ingat aku sorang. ye lah, orang comel la katakann, ingat ramai orang suka haha. ok maybe sebab ni antara pompuan kot. orang laki mesti ramai je yang suka.