Sunday, November 28, 2010

on the other side of the glass door

expectations held and expectations lost.

          one of the plus side of American culture is the-'ladies first, hold the door open'-rule still holds. i'm not saying that this rule applies to all American; but generally speaking, most of them try hard to keep this good manner. so those kinda things are taken for granted. 3.5 years ago, i wouldn't give a damn nor hold bad feelings if the guy just let the door slam on my face, but right now i would consider that it's rude. more so when i was carrying a load of stuffs in my hand.
like i was saying, it's cruel to stereotype a person because of his attributes. statement like 'generally speaking, American men are more gentlemanly than Malay men' is too biased. to prove that that statement is not true: last night i was carrying 2 boxes, and there's a Malay guy who saw me having a hard time seeing the way what with the boxes and kindly asked me if i was OK. actually, the boxes are only big, but it's not that heavy for me -i can still carry them just fine and walk with no real problem. so of course, i said it was fine and refuse his help. but it's the thoughts and effort to actually offer some help that i am thankful for.
          on the contrary, when i got back from grocery shopping this morning, i met with an American man and woman in front of the elevator. my hand was full of groceries, that i have to actually push the elevator button with my elbow. i thought the man and woman weren't going up the elevator as they didn't show any intention to catch the elevator. but after the elevator arrived, they just naturally went into the elevator after me, and said "hey, can you swipe us up to the 11th floor? thanks." so with all the stuffs obviously in my two hands, they want me to pull out the access card out from my pocket, and swipe them up. i literally had to put the stuffs in my right hand down on the elevator floor, pulled out the card, swipe it inside the card reader, and even push the button for them. they didn't even have any incentive to be polite like offering to hold some of my stuffs instead of them being on the floor, or even saying a simple 'sorry', for a start. i don't know if they're a couple or not, or if the guy's felt hesitant to act kind to other girl in front of the girlfriend or something. i got a few expectations that they'd at least offer some polite exchanges, so when they were none, i guess my face kinda showed that i was a little bit annoyed. only when we arrived at my floor and walked out of the elevator, i heard a 'thank you' from the guy. maybe he felt troubled after all that he had to ask me when i already had my hands full.

1 comment:

Timothy Takemoto said...

Perhaps they were theives wanting to be let into an area that they did not have a swipe card for.

In Japan women generally let men go first but they do not hold doors open for them, just wait.

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