Sunday, November 08, 2015

Drama Dreams

I guess this is the third time or so. Similar dreams. I was forced/arranged to marry. Last night's/this morning was just more detailed.

It started with suddenly on morning of my wedding day. I was already dressed and made up. I looked at my hands, with lacey veils around the back of my head. Then i snapped. Why am i in a wedding dress? Who am i getting married to?

I stood up, walking, and then running to look for my mom. I asked her. She said it's someone she knows, a divorcee/widow, i am to marry him to 'help him out'. I got angry. Why must -I- help him? Go find some girl in our village. But oh he said he wanted a woman who is working, a whole package. Wth?

She further explained that 'they' (a group of makcik2 in the village i guess) planned to marry off Wawa to another similar standing man. Again, wtf?

I ran across the hallway, passing in front of the bedroom doors. I kept pacing until it hits me that i have not even tell my friends. I have not tell him. Breathing shallow and heart beating hard, it saddens me that my marriage was to happen like that. I fumbled with the phone, looking for his number that i deleted.

Then i woke up.

As nightmares go, this is pretty worrisome. But i know when push comes to shove, my mom would not 'force' me to marry someone i do not approve/agree on. And between friends and him, i chose to call him first to tell about the marriage. Tying loose ends and perhaps hoping that he would come steal my hands?

Damn drama dreams.

1 comment:

raindrops_on_my_head said...

how dare u want to tell him first :(

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